寫作中舉例論證的常見問題及修改方案

所有考托福的同學都知道，論證的重點一定是舉例子，但舉例子不是只把for example, for instance這樣的表達擺出來，或者編一個英文名字就可以了，還需要注意一些其它方面。一般說來兩種例子比較常見，一個是名人名言，再就是個人事例，即用自己或身邊的人來舉例，這一類的事例具備很強的代表性，并且能在一定程度上喚起考官的共鳴。

對于大多數(shù)備考時間比較緊的考生來說，準備第 一種例子性價比不高，并且時間不夠。因此，性價比較高的第二種例子更適合于備考時間比較短的考生。托?？荚噧H僅是語言能力考試，只要能用恰當?shù)睦诱撌銮宄栴}就可以，因此用生活常事來舉例對于考官來說也有很大的說服力。但是恰好在這個方面容易出現(xiàn)一些問題：

1.  無關細節(jié)太多

For example, my uncle works in a bank, and when he was just qualified for the job, he was only responsible for counting money, the bank does not trust him to do some complicated work and interpersonal relationship, even though he is already studied in university. People always worry about young people make error, so they tend to assign more complicated work to more experienced people, not only in work but also in life, people like listen to the old people’s opinions.

以上這段我們理解起來不難，但是問題是他講到的諸多細節(jié)，如just qualified for the job， counting money等都和主題關聯(lián)不大，所以在改進時需要重新梳理內(nèi)容，

For example, as a freshman in the bank, my uncle started as the cashier on the counter, although he was graduated from the top university in China. The reasons might be multiple, but the most important one would be the lack of experiences and practice. Therefore, many of the administrative jobs require the employers to start from the elementary level.

2.  只會舉個個例

For example, my friend Rocky has a mechanical project. He should makes a robot, and this project needs not only professional physics knowledge but also computer knowledge, so he join a robot group to finish his project.

首先需要明確一點，托?？荚囀强梢耘e個人化的例子的，但是個人化的例子并不能算得上是上策，根本原因還是看起來不太高級，所以如果例子的重點不在個人，那么改換成下面這種是不是更好呢？

For many of the group project, especially the complicated one such as making a robot, all the team members have to work together and contribute their specific knowledge, so the work could be done.

所以如果可以把握上面說的那些方面，相信大家在論證方面會更進一步。